


Frisk is Now an Ambassador

by TurkeyJerky



Series: Chara is a Kinky Bitch [9]
Category: Deus Ex (Video Games), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Deus Ex Parody, Diplomacy, Funny, Gen, Old Men Are The Future, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-30 15:36:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12656412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurkeyJerky/pseuds/TurkeyJerky
Summary: Frisk Dreemurr, recent college graduate, is finally made The Monster Ambassador to Humans.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This happened in the past, obviously. Please play this while reading: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wny4UptyceU>

"Your appointment to the ambassadorship should be finalized within the week.", Asgore said. "I've already discussed the matter with the Senator."

"I take it he was agreeable?" You raised an eyebrow.

"He didn't really have a choice." Your father grinned.

"Has he read the treaty?", you asked.

"Oh yes, most certainly." Asgore nodded subtly. "When I mentioned that one of the stipulations of the treaty was that you would become the monster ambassador to humans upon coming of age and completing your education, he was so cooperative, it was almost completely effortless."

This was the day. It had been almost a decade since you accepted the king of monsters proposition that you become the conduit between his species and yours. In this time, you had graduated from grade school, high school, and finally college, not to mention taking a few classes at The School of Hard Knocks. Now the proud owner of a fancy looking piece of paper declaring that you knew a thing or two about Diplomacy and International Relations, you were ready to begin the job you were born to do.

You smiled to yourself slightly before returning to the present and clearing your throat. "The immigration... the humans moving into our little suburb is intensifying to the point where we may not be able to contain it."

"Why contain it?" Asgore shrugged. "Let them spill into our schools and churches, let them crowd our streets. In the end, we'll be an example to the world that monsters and humans can live together."

"I've received reports of altercations with immigrants." You frowned. "Not everyone is happy with the influx of humans and some of the monsters are starting to get desperate."

"Of course they're desperate.", Asgore said. "As monsters and humans grow closer, they can smell the death of their hateful ideology and the sound they'll make, rattling their sabres, will only hurt their cause."

"Hmmm." You nodded gently in agreement. "I hope you're not underestimating the problem. The others may not go as quietly as you think... Intelligence indicates they're behind the problems in the north side."

"A bunch of bigoted old monsters playing at running the world.", Asgore said, his brow bent a little more than usual. "But the world left them behind long ago. _We_ are the future." He reached out for your shoulder.

You looked up at your father and smiled momentarily, before the smile faded. "We have other problems..."

"ECPDMD?", Asgore asked, seemingly reading your mind through his hand on your shoulder.

"Formed shortly after the monsters came to the surface.", you said. Due to monsterkind's fragility, it was decided that a new department would be made at the Ebott City Police Department. A force made up entirely of monsters, the Ebott City Police Department: Monster Division was responsible for policing the monster minority in the city and its surrounding areas. Your father was worried that the human police officers would not respect their monster comrades, due to their kindhearted nature. "I have someone in place, though." It took very little convincing to get Undyne to join. She was quickly earning the respect of all the human law enforcers in the city, state, and country. "I'm more concerned about Mettaton... He's relocated to Hollywood.."

"Our P.R. is far in advance of his, as is our media connections. I will ensure that his... _ethical flexibility_..." Asgore raised his hands and made air quotes. "...stays out of the papers, so that we may continue to make progress in areas that are important to our cause."

"The monster citizenship amendment?", you asked.

"Among other things..." Asgore smiled for a second before turning his expression on its head. "But I must admit that I have been disappointed with the performance with the primary bill..."

"The secondary bill should be ready soon.", you quickly said. "It's currently undergoing preparations and should have enough support to be brought up for vote in six months. My people will continue to report on its progress. If necessary, the primary bill will be withdrawn."

Asgore toggled his expression again. "We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again. A new age! My father spoke of a mythical city where humans and monsters coexisted peacefully. Soon that city will be a reality, and we will be friends. Or better than friends..." He placed his hand on your head and rustled your hair. "...family."


	2. The Recut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A parody of a parody... It's turtles all the way down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I couldn't resist. Based off of this: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vxi7JRJrod4>

"Your appointment to the ambassadorship should be finalized within the week.", Asgore said. "I've already discussed the matter with the Senator."

"I take it he was agreeable?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes.", Asgore said with a single nod.

"Has he read the treaty?", you asked.

"Oh yes.", Asgore said with a single nod.

"I hope you're not underestimating the--", you started to say.

"Oh yes.", Asgore interrupted with a single nod. "When I mentioned that one of the stipulations of the treaty was that you would become the monster ambassador, he was desperate."

"The immigration...", you said. "...the humans moving into our little suburb is intensifying to the point where we may not be able to contain it."

"Why contain it?", Asgore said, followed by a medium pause. "It's cool! Old monsters... Warning, warning..."

"I've received reports of altercations with immigrants." You frowned. "And some of the monsters are starting to get desperate." You turned to your father. "Your turn."

"Desperate.", Asgore said, then nodded in your direction.

"Desperate.", you said, then nodded in your father's direction.

"Desperate.", Asgore said, then nodded in your direction.

"Desperate.", you said, then nodded in your father's direction.

"Desperate.", Asgore said. "The sound they'll make rattling their sabres will only hurt the electronic old monsters."

"Hmmm..." You nodded gently in agreement. "I hope you're not--" The appearance of an undead creature rising up from behind your father interrupted your speech. "Get the hell out of here, Papyrus!" You cleared your throat as Papyrus rattled away back to the waiting room without a word. "The others may not go as quietly as you think... Intelligence indicates they're behind the problems in the north side."

"Old monsters running the world!" Asgore clenched his fist. "A new age!"

"We have other problems...", you said.

"ECPDMD?", Asgore asked.

"Formed shortly after the monsters came to the surface.", you said. "I have someone in place, though. I'm more concerned about Mettaton..."

"ECPDMD?", Asgore asked.

"Mettaton.", you responded.

"ECPDMD?", Asgore asked.

"No, Mettaton.", you responded.

"E-ECPDM--", Asgore began to say.

"No.", you interrupted. "Mettaton."

"Our P.R. is far in advance of his.", Asgore said. "Our electronic old monsters and their... _flexibility_ has allowed us to make progress on the mythical city where humans and monsters coexisted peacefully."

"Hmmm." You nodded in agreement. Your old man had been at this game for a long time. This was not his first rodeo. He knew what he was talking about. "We may not be able to contain the monster citizenship amendment."

"Among other things.", Asgore said. "I must admit that I have been somewhat disappointed in ECPDMD."

There was a short pause before you finally spoke. "Quit screwing around.", you said.

"Yes...", Asgore said.

"The secondary bill should be ready within six months.", you said. "It's currently undergoing preparations and should have enough support to be brought up for vote within six months. My people will continue to report on its progress within six months."

Asgore smiled. "We've had to endure much, you and I, but within the week, there will be old monsters running the world."

"No..." You shook your head. "Within six months."

"Yes...", Asgore said. "Old monsters are the future."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is cannon. ...in an alternate universe where everyone is insane.

**Author's Note:**

> OLD MEN ARE THE FUTURE


End file.
